Stress
is everywhere and certain common stressors cannot easily be controlled. However, the act of managing stress is a learned skill that is completely within reach.
Below, I identify common stressors and offer guidance for
successful stress management.
Certain
emotions including anger, fear, worry, anxiety, nervous tension, guilt, shame, and
humiliation trigger a strong stress response. Additionally, the mental and
physical strain of overwork can contribute to the stress cascade. Keeping late
hours and shift work lead to insufficient sleep, a very common stressor in our
culture. And life events such as death of a loved one, divorce, separation,
fusion of/step-families, retirement, loss of job, moving/change in residence,
financial loss, school, work can send anyone into a stress frenzy.
Research
studies have identified that successful people, not only manage, but persevere
through stressful experiences using the following stress relief models:
- Network and social connectedness
Surround
yourself with a support network of family, friends and, if needed, health care
professionals. Regularly make an effort to spend face-to-face time with each person
in your support network to really maintain and nurture those relationships. Human
nature and culture have evolved through trust and cooperation and social isolation
can often make stressors appear insurmountable. Social proximity through
relationship building can harness the trust and resilience needed to face
stress.
Practical step
for building social networks:
Use
video technology to maintain face to face relationships even when you or your
loved ones are out of or on the other side of town. Skype, Google videochat and
hangouts, or Facetime are great resources for this.
- Self-control
Feeling
overwhelmed and out of control are indicators of a declining ability to to manage
stress. Self control can be viewed as a muscle that can be both strengthened
and fatigued with use. Individuals who are most disciplined make it a point to
avoid temptations such as unhealthy relationships, foods, and behaviors in
order to conserve their will power. When will power is depleted, people feel
overwhelmed by even most negligible stressors and have trouble with making decisions.
The implication is that we all have a finite amount of self-control and should
try to exercise it with awareness and intention to strengthen it. By exercising
will power frequently and with intention, self control can be strengthened and
the stress of decision making minimized.
Practical steps
for harnessing self-control:
Build
these self control skills into the scaffolding of your life by practicing prayer,
meditation, yoga, pilates, tai chi, and any other activity that requires
awareness and mindfulness. This could mean watching your posture, speaking in
complete sentences and avoiding use of slang, or eliminating refined sugar from
your diet.
- Predictability
Consistent
daily schedules and predictable routines help to develop a sense of harmony, establish
security and build trust that the current stress is transient and will pass,
that tomorrow will be fine. Daily routine has been shown to be soothing to the
stress-ridden over-stimulated nervous system. Even, clutter and a chaotic
physical environment can lead to mental and emotional overstimulation. Once the
mind is overwhelmed, it is difficult to perform well and impossible to feel comfortable
and relaxed.
Practical steps for
achieving a predictable daily routine:
Go
to sleep, get up, shower and leave the house at the same time each day. Aim for
9.5 hours of sleep per night. Eat breakfast every morning. Spend some time
organizing your work space every day and allot time to even organize your
appearance. Make time for down time in your daily schedule.
- Outlets for frustration
Build
outlets for processing frustration into the social scaffolding of your life.
For children this may mean utilizing creative outlets such as drawing, play,
and puppets to recreate and process the frustrating event. For adults this may
mean journaling, meditation, prayer and/or professional counseling. Without a
forum for voicing or processing frustration, one runs the risk of relying on unhealthy
stress-associated behaviors like overeating, eating
unhealthful foods,
skipping meals, chronic
caffeine
use, alcohol and smoking that deplete
one's ability to manage stress.
Practical steps for
creating outlets for frustration:
Physically
remove yourself from a stressful situation. Go for a walk or take a bath. Sit
with your thoughts and think about why the situation provoked a stress
response. What is unusual or peculiar about this situation that provoked a
stress response? Come back to the stressful situation 24 hours later, if
possible, and see if it still feels overwhelming.
- Reframing your outlook
Stressful
situations can be turned around by reframing your outlook. Reframing is a
technique of processing information with a fresh set of eyes and an open mind. Mindset
is what often limits our ability to see things clearly. To change your mind is to change your perception
of stress. Mindfulness is leaving your mind open, free to drift, to notice new
things and take advantage of new opportunities. Thinking is often mistaken for
mindfulness, but thinking is a very different and can often be a stressful
process, as there is a possibility of not getting the right answer.
Practical steps to
reframe your outlook:
Start
paying attention to the new things in your environment. Spend at least an hour
each day on . an activity that let's your mind drift such as walking out in
nature or meditation.
I
hope this article will help you to understand that common stressors in your
life are not unique. These stressors are universal and affect every
personality, every household and every relationship. We all have stress in our
lives! However the tools of managing stress are not universally present. Social
isolation, negative mindset, unintended behaviors, inflexibility and lack of
routine and will power limit one's ability to manage stress effectively. I
trust that the stress management tools I've laid out in this article will help
you. I look forward to hearing from you!
Sources:
Baumeister,
RF and Tierney, J. Willpower: Rediscovering
the Greatest Human Strength.
Langer,
E. Counter Clockwise: Mindful Health and
the Power of Opportunity.
Aron,
Elaine. The Highly Sensitive Person.
